How often are these two words mixed with each other? If one is satisfied, one is assumed to be happy right? Or not? Well, I don’t know. I have been wondering about this for, well, the last 10 minutes or so. :) Doesn’t seem like a long time to justify this blog perhaps? But, I like to believe my mind works fast.
I am so thankful to god for giving me everything I have. I have absolutely no complaints about what I have or what I dont. I believe I have been blessed with a very good life. I am not referring to materialistic aspects here. If that was the case, I really should be very happy. I'll admit, I was always made to believe that money is the answer to all worries. Over the past few years, I realized that is so not true. Yes, Its important, but, is by no means the source to happiness. It might be a source to satisfaction though. Notice how I am trying to differentiate "satisfaction" with "happiness".
I am considered a very happy person by my friends. I have often heard this comment, "Wow, how do you stay so happy all the time?" At such times, I wonder if my laugh, my jokes, lack of whining leads them to that conclusion. Well, on one hand, it might; And I'd agree. But could it also be because I am able to hide what I feel so well? If latter is the case, is that right? I dont know if it is. I do try to make people around me happy. I gives me a great sense of achievement. It might seem a little absurd to some people who read this, but, to me, its really important. Nothing is more fulfilling than to make someone feel better. "Dushyant, Talking to you made me forget my worries, Thanks so much". This statement alone can make my day. I am a sponge (good listener). I an absorb people's worries and pain with no problem at all. I enjoy it. I am beginning to think if I have a threshold though? Will there be a time when I questioning my ways and beliefs? Will there be a time when I give my expectations from people more importance? The answer is , I dont know. But, I do know that I am human and that makes me vulnerable. To be very honest, what I really want is to be able to do things for people without any expectations. That’s very difficult to practice, but, I would love to be able to do that. My parents have taught me that, and I know for a fact they wouldn’t preach anything that isn’t worth it.
Lastly, I wonder if someone even thinks like me? Am i reading into my thoughts a little too much? Do I have too much free time on my hands? ( I highly doubt that) Does loneliness be the cause of this over analysis? If I knew, I wouldn’t write this.
I do know one thing, I am optimistic, contrary to what my parents think. :) Deep inside, I always hope for the best and somehow keep expecting things to be better. Thanks to god, they do eventually. In the end, it will only be fair to acknowledge what god has blessed me with. So I can simply say, Thank You God. Wherever you are...
Alright, my mind feels emptier now. Lets hope it remains that way until I log off from facebook at least. I know I have talked about random things here. I didnt expect to deviate much, but, my mind works in crazy ways.
I am not tagging anyone to this note because this is just a venting phase for me. I have not aimed this at anyone. The thoughts expressed are totally random. Its a result of insomnia.
I am not even sure how many people read it. It doesn’t matter much though. But, is someone survives after reading this, I welcome comments.
PS:1 May be its the schoolwork making me weird. I'll find out in 3 weeks. Lets see if I can define "satisfaction" and "happiness" then. :)
PS2: Excuse my typos or grammatical errors.
Peace
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